Joe Torosian's Outsiders Sports

By Joe Torosian

Kick it!

On this date in 1979, Rams owner Carroll Rosenbloom decided to go swimming—alone…and the Los Angeles Rams 1.0 began their inevitable journey to St. Louis.

Good for Puka Nacu for checking into rehab.
If he saw the need for it himself—that’s the best.
If he was taking counsel from McSnead, it’s a great indication of humbleness.
If it was an ultimatum (Go to rehab or else), that works too because he’s about to make some serious bread.

I know what money can do…I got a 100-bucks for my 8th grade graduation and turned into a madman.

“Joe, did you see Artemis?”
“Artemis Parker? Yeah, I remember Artemis Parker. He was a pretty good safety at USC.”

Is there anything more jejune than the amount of time wasted talking about who the MVP is going to be in a particular sport?

(Definition of Jejune: describing something as uninteresting, boring, or lacking substance.)

Tell me who sucks, tell me who’s good. Don’t tell me about the concert you went to, are going to, or plan to attend. And don’t waste my time on how Wemby deserves it over Shai—I don’t care.

When I was younger, I was upset at the East Coast bias that kept giving the NBA MVP to Larry Bird over Magic Johnson. I remember being upset when Ohio State’s Archie Griffin got his second Heisman at the expense of USC’s Ricky Bell.

Must be an age thing, because these days I’m more into discussions about the sixth man, the swing tackle, and taking shots at the WNBA than who’s gonna be the MVP

In defense of Babe Ruth getting dragged unnecessarily to elevate Shohei Ohtani—and elevate Ohtani all you want, he’s amazing—recognize that Ruth spent his entire career playing against seven other American League teams.

Yes, baseball wasn’t integrated, but there’s a good argument that those original American League teams (only eight/long before expansion) had deeper rotations with better arms and better pitchers.

Today, these are tremendous athletes, tremendous players, but in a league with 30 teams, the pitching is watered down.

I’m all in on praising Ohtani, but Babe Ruth’s legacy doesn’t need to be destroyed in the process.

#18—May the San Francisco Giants rot and lie stinking in the earth.

Speaking of baseball, if we no longer consider a pitcher’s wins important, why was there so much talk & awe about LeBron passing Kareem for all-time wins in basketball?

Whatever happened to Joel Embid? Remember when Embid and Ben Simmons were considered a contending tandem?

Speaking of Philly, does anyone remember the Boston Strangler? That was a dude.

The Las Vegas Raiders have signed Kirk Cousins. The Rams and Cardinals were looking at Cousins, but the veteran QB chose Vegas.

Cousins provides cushion for the Raiders if they don’t want to rush Fernando Mendoza into the starting role.

The Dude abides…
1,262
1 John 3:1
jtbank1964@yahoo.com
Follow Joe on X: @joet13b

By Joe Torosian

Kick it!

Truth or April Fools?
I was once offered the job of quarterbacks coach at Glenn High School.

“Forty Days & Forty Nights”…is the title for Luca Doncic’s biography.
The more you watch Luca, the more he’s like water rolling downhill. You can divert it, you can slow it down, but you cannot stop it.

The Lakers have been fun to watch lately, but they won’t be stopping OKC…San Antonio…or even a healthy Denver team in the playoffs.

Did anybody in Los Angeles even know the Clippers were riding a five-game winning streak before losing to Portland last night?

An eighteen-game NFL season is going to happen. The NFL needs the revenue for an 18th game about as much as the Dodgers needed the revenue for UNIQLO Field at Dodger Stadium.

Will an 18th game include a second bye? Expanded rosters? It definitely means more games on foreign soil, and whatever happened to CTE?

At least the era of multiple games on Monday Night is over. As smart as the NFL is, how is it they didn’t even have the sense to break those games down into separate East Coast/West Coast starts?

“Hey, Roger, here’s a good idea: let’s overlap our games so fans have to make a choice.”

The realization that this was a bad idea isn’t enough; someone should be fired for even suggesting it… and Goodell should be taken freshwater fishing with Fredo for implementing it.

Can somebody let WBC hero and Philadelphia Phillies first baseman Bryce Harper know that the MLB season started last week? My fantasy team is indicating he didn’t get the memo.

The NFL likes “The Rooney Rule” because it looks good…but it’s just window dressing. Teams do a cursory interview with a minority to clear the deck, then hire whoever they want.

Like every other bureaucratic mandate, there will always be a way around it.

Case in point, the spirit of “The Rooney Rule” is stretched for guys like me. I’m 47% northern European, and 53% Armenian/Native American…which, by current metrics, when it’s convenient, makes me an “individual of color.”

“Oh, he’s a minority? Cool, we can count that.”

In 2024, there were nine minority head coaches, and in 2023, ten general managers in the NFL. “The Rooney Rule” was working.

In 2026, with only three African Americans and Robert Saleh serving as HCs & four minority GMs, “The Rooney Rule” is not working.

I recognize there was once a problem, but it was made worse and exploited by cultural Marxists who saw a way to make a buck and create a perpetual grievance.

Do I have a perfect answer? No, but when fairness trumps merit, everything becomes a slippery slope.

#17—May the San Francisco Giants rot and lie stinking in the earth.

I took some heat for yesterday’s column, which I expected, but I wasn’t sure what I was taking heat for.

I never gave an opinion about “Rainbow” issues. I spoke against conformity.

Now, it’s not a leap to figure out what my thoughts may be on the “Rainbow”…but the column was about conformity—make that, Glorious Conformity.

…And calls for my firing (LOL) only proved the point.

The Dude abides…
1,261
Ruth 1:16-17
jtbank1964@yahoo.com
Follow Joe on X: @joet13b

By Joe Torosian

Kick it!

We’re going to talk about this because I didn’t have to be Nostradamus to figure out the response.

What’s the subject?

“Glorious conformity, the delight and ultimate pleasure of our unified society.”—TZ

Growing up with brothers who were seven and eight years older than me, I was exposed to a lot of stuff I shouldn’t have been.

One of those things was the Twilight Zone. Don’t get me wrong, the Twilight Zone was great, but it built into me one of my greatest fears—conformity.

I have patience and the ability to wait for something, but standing in line with hundreds of others waiting to be let in somewhere gives me anxiety.

My thoughts are, who’s herding us? Where are they herding us to? And why are we standing here like sheep, letting it happen?

Wearing the same shirt, the same hat, the same kicks as everyone else shortens my breath. It’s not about standing out — it’s about fitting in, conforming, and giving up independence/identity.

Episodes like “I of The Beholder,” “The Obsolete Man,” and “Number 12, Looks Just Like You” have influenced my whole life.

I’ve been asked if I’m on the spectrum (True), and my answer is no, just too much Twilight Zone as a kid.

So this was already built into me before I came to faith in Christ. Christianity didn’t influence this core belief, but did reinforce it.

(Romans 12—”do not conform to the pattern of this world.” Colossians 2—”don’t be taken captive by hollow and deceptive philosophy”…But I digress.)

So when Jaden Ivey shares his beliefs against a culture dominated by subservient sheep and cultural tyrants, I’m highly impressed.

And when the cultural tyrants and their lapdogs (See Jason McIntyre & Emmanuel Acho) respond by questioning Ivey’s mental health, the unseen oppression becomes clearly seen.

The Chicago Bulls released Ivey for his views on the LGBTQ movement and Pride Month.

Should they have the right to do that? Does anyone see anything wrong with that?

“We must cut out all that is different, like a cancerous growth! It is essential in this society that we not only have a norm, but that we conform to that norm.”—TZ

Colin Cowherd addressed it from the top—give him credit for that—but he took the line that inside sources at Purdue and with the Bulls told him Ivey was difficult in the locker room and he needed to be removed.

Maybe he was, but I’m sure you can find others with a different story—but not if you want a certain narrative. And Cowherd works for a corporation that will always bend a knee. You can make your own call, but I have my doubts.

Maybe Ivey is a douchebag, but have you seen how bad the Bulls are this year? They have seven games left. This wasn’t about the locker room, their season is nearly over…this was about giving the Rainbow an easy scalp.

It’s naive to think that the Rainbow is not political. Workers all over America have been forced to conform or die (occupationally) if they don’t.

It got me thinking about Colin Kaepernick (douchebag). If Kaepernick is going to be excoriated and soft-booted for bringing his politics into the stadium. Why should a professional franchise have the right to force its political beliefs on an employee?

Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 is the primary federal law that protects employees from being forced to conform to their employers’ religious beliefs…However, it doesn’t address political beliefs.

So legally, it’s okay if they want to fire Ivey over politics. Ethically, however, it is revealing.

Again, this happens all over America. And I’m not declaring Ivey to be Captain America, but he was cut for his religious beliefs, to score cultural points for the corporation, and to send the message: Conform or die.

I don’t think China would allow it, but any NBA team that signs Ivey will immediately become America’s team — at least for a while.

The character test for Ivey is if he recants. Pressure comes, and most fold like a house of cards. If he does backpedal, he may get another shot. If he doesn’t, he’s toast.

Ivey’s release shines a bright light on the cowardice of others in professional sports who hold similar beliefs but won’t take a stand.

Because it’s all about glorious conformity.

And how evil is that?

***
Did anyone expect Austin Reaves to become this good? Did anyone see his game continuing to improve?

Guilty. I thought he was just a guy who had topped out. Good, but not much more than that…I was wrong, he’s become much more than anyone ever thought he could be.

They put the Super Bowl back in Las Vegas… It’s a good fit. Hotel prices will go up, but it’s still a good fit. Anything is better than New Orleans.

I am more convinced than ever that the Rams will trade back in this year’s draft.

The Dude abides…
1,260
Judges 21:25
jtbank1964@yahoo.com
Follow Joe on X: @joet13b