Joe Torosian's Outsiders Sports

By Joe Torosian

Kick it!

I always thought the worst “L” in history happened to the dude at the end of “The Last American Virgin,” but that was before I saw the last ten seconds of UConn-Duke.

Maybe because I didn’t have an emotional investment, I enjoyed Duke-UConn as much as any college basketball game I’d seen since Louisville-Houston back in ’83.

Final Two Thoughts on UConn: Yes, Danny Hurley can be irritating…But I thought it was classy dropping Kevin Ollie’s name into his post-game interview on the court.

Second, the definition of what it means to grind was what the Huskies did after being down by as much as 19 to the Blue Devils.
Real Quick: What was with that stupid hat the Dodgers were wearing on Saturday against the Snakes?

Next Add NCAA Tourney: Am I the only one thinking too much Nate Burleson is a bad thing? Or even a little bit of Nate Burleson is too much? I know when he does football, I long for the glory days of Phil Simms.

Note to Everyone: Charles Barkley has the right to express his views on immigration. But my question back would be, “Where do you live, Chuck? How many buffers are there between the street and your front door?

If there’s more than just a locked door, then his opinion is as irrelevant as Nate Burleson’s on basketball…and football…and politics…and economics…

I’m all for consequences, I’m all in on Lex Rex, and I think Tiger Woods should face every consequence for his actions…But I feel sorry for him.

Tiger climbed a mountain top and learned nothing, saw no hope, and gained no perspective…and now the KBM is dancing on the carcass of his reputation.

Illinois, twice over the weekend, had Houston and Iowa go cold in the second half—is that luck or length?

I didn’t like some of the calls in the Purdue-Arizona game. The conspiratorial side of me felt it was a clear-cut case of Tucson being bigger than West Lafayette…
Tucson: 548,000
West Lafayette: 45,200

…But I jest…

If the Lakers are going to make a postseason run, the key is a healthy Marcus Smart.

Last Add Lakers: If LeBron continues to accept his role as the team’s #3, I’m not against giving Bronny three minutes a night to keep dad happy.

Kenny Smith next HC at North Carolina? …Yeah, and Caleb Williams is The Iceman…NOT!

Did anyone really think the NCAA was going to let St. John’s and Rick Pitino beat Duke?

A report broke this weekend that former Rams CB Marcus Peters has returned to his high school to become the HC.

Question: What are your thoughts on former NFL players going back to coach at the high school level?

The Dude abides…
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2 Chronicles 7:14
jtbank1964@yahoo.com
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By Joe Torosian

Kick it!

Note to Media: Stop trying to make “Qlo” happen… It’s not going to happen.

I really wanted to come on and write about how the Dodgers are winless since selling what remained of their soul to Satan…but…all I’ve got is the ridiculous Will Ferrell opening.

I understand wanting to do a bit, but Ferrell is played.

Angels pitching throws a shutout, and Mike Trout lasts 9 innings (and homers) in the Halo’s 3-0 win over the Astros on Thursday.

The Pirates’ Oneil Cruz had about as bad a first inning against the Mets as Willie Davis did against the Orioles in the ’66 Series.

The Cade Cunningham saga over reaching the minimum number of games to qualify for NBA honors is a classic case of real life versus the pseudo-fairness of Marxism and the way it’s been foisted on our young people.

Cunningham, who is having a great season with the Detroit Pistons, is out until the playoffs with a collapsed lung. This makes him ineligible for MVP, All-NBA, and everything else, as he will have played fewer than 65 games.

The problem is a generation has been raised to believe that if something is not fair to our feelings, then the rule must be wrong.

It boils down to Lex Rex—those who believe in the rule of law and those who don’t. Marx doesn’t.

As Kirk once said, “You know that pain and guilt can’t be taken away with a wave of a magic wand. They’re the things we carry with us, the things that make us who we are. If we lose them, we lose ourselves. I don’t want my pain taken away! I need my pain!”

In life, there is pain and disappointment, but when endured, growth, grace, and confidence come.

Never thought I’d see Hayden Fry out-coach Tom Osborne, but Iowa did beat Nebraska last night. Of course, the Cornhuskers might have done better if they had put five players on the court at the most critical moment rather than just four.

My flirtation with “always being a Texas fan” is over…However, I’ve always been pro-Purdue. It’s a Rick Mount-Billy Keller thing.

Only a mother-in-law’s kiss can be as cold as Houston was in the second half against Illinois Thursday night…Trust me, I know.

That was a serious clank-fu effort by the Cougars.

“Puka, when you go out, you probably don’t feel like you need this. Bro, just go ahead and spend that thousand dollars every time you step out into these streets and get security. Just pay it because now, you’re going to spend $100K on an attorney.”—T.J. Houshmandzadeh.

As a Mets fan, I feel really good about Tanner Scott still being on the Dodgers roster.

#16—May the San Francisco Giants rot and lie stinking in the earth.

Oh, I’ve always been a Carson Benge fan!

The Dude abides…
1,258
Psalm 89:6-7
jtbank1964@yahoo.com
Follow Joe on X: @joet13b

By Joe Torosian

Kick it!

Is it just me, or has Barry Bonds had neck reduction surgery?

There should be a spring training for fantasy baseball…Fantasy baseball is all about the grind, and you need to be prepared.

With Fernando Mendoza coming into the NFL, it may be time to rethink “The Mendoza Line.”

Popularized by George Brett, the phrase was coined by Tom Paciorek and Bruce Bochte about light-hitting Seattle Mariner teammate Mario Mendoza.

Interestingly enough, The Mendoza Line refers to a .200 batting average…But Mendoza was a career .215 hitter.

If the Las Vegas Raiders’ offensive line has a great season, could they be dubbed, The Mendoza Line? (You heard it here first.)

Is the NBA East wide open? I thought I saw a preview of the NBA finals last night when Boston beat OKC…

It was weird to watch because I’ve hated the Celtics since my basketball birth, but I have an obnoxious friend who is a Thunder fan, so I really enjoyed seeing them lose.

Honestly, the pleasure of writing Fanview daily again is that it lets me siphon off the spite that builds up. In the Skywalker family, The Force runs strong; in the Torosian household, we are, and have always been, about spite.

Never been a LeBron fan. I think he’s been the greatest player in an era of horrible basketball and horrible basketball players…The greatest athletes ever, but they haven’t been basketball players.

(And if I could have carried the ball the way it is carried today, my life could have been a lot different—but I digress.)

LeBron has always been in shape and comes to play when on the floor. This Lakers resurgence wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t, humbly, taken a step back. He’s been fantastic, not being the number one guy. I hope he stays…

But…

He can’t touch Kobe…Forget about Magic—he’s not even in the same conversation as Magic.

Colin Cowherd argued that LeBron is a better clutch player than Kobe ever was, saying there’s more to clutch play than just shooting.

If you’ve ever played ball…it is always easier to play without the ball when it’s crunch time…easier to play defense…easier to go to the glass…but when the game is on the line…the ball gets real heavy, and the elbow gets real tight…when you have to shoot it.

The guy who puts the ball through the net…is the guy who is most clutch…So LeBron is not Kobe…

Why do I hear more these days about the Somali Pirates than the Pittsburgh Pirates?

When I left Dodger fandom behind in 2015… three things made it hard.

I really liked Clayton Kershaw—but I got over it.

I still loved Vin Scully—And I never got over it.

And The Ravine—I’ve been to a lot of stadiums, and whether I despise Dodger management or not, they’ve done a great job in keeping it as the showcase palace of baseball.

But I would think the sellout of the fanbase to Time Warner, the moving target of ticket prices, the cost of beer, and players like Shohei Ohtani taking deferred contracts…would’ve lined their pockets enough–filled their bank vaults sufficiently–to prevent them from having to rename the stadium.

UNIQLO Field at Dodger Stadium…are you fricken kidding me? Talk about a Frank McCourt-level offense.

It’s like the Devil drove up Stadium Way, got out of the limo with his entourage, walked up to the offices, and said, “I want what’s mine.”

So he’s taken the soul of Chavez Ravine…and renamed it UNIQLO…Which in the original Greek translates to— “You’re mine. I own you.”

Some things have to change…I totally get it…but are Dodger fans good with this prostitutional-abomination of one of the greatest stadiums in the history of a 151-year-old sport?

#15—May the San Francisco Giants rot and lie stinking in the earth.

The Dude abides…
1,257
Ephesians 5: 8-11
jtbank1964@yahoo.com
Follow Joe on X: @joet13b