By Joe Torosian
Kick it!
Mike Ditka’s last words upon graduating from this life were probably, “I’m not a juice box boy!”
I liked Ditka’s personality…but that personality would make half the NFL cry in 2026, and they’d declare him a bully.
I think there was a moment last night when Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones said to God, “I’m not winning another Super Bowl, am I?”
And God said, “Sorry, Jerry. Jane Fonda has a better chance of making a movie with Mel Gibson than you do of holding another Lombardi.”
At one point in the third quarter, I thought I heard someone say, “Otter, this is ridiculous!”
So, so, so happy I don’t gamble because I couldn’t envision—in any way, shape, or form—the Buccaneers going into Dallas with a UDFA at quarterback and winning.
And Todd Bowles shouts, “Hallelujah!”
For the Rams, Aaron Donald and Jaylen Watson are trending to play on Monday night against Buffalo…I still don’t gamble, but the Rams feel like an easy take.
Late Note: The Philadelphia Eagles trading center Cam Jurgens to Baltimore is a good move for the Ravens…but it looks like Philly’s waving the white flag. And if the Eagles aren’t waving the white flag, Jalen Hurts should be crying, “No mas! No mas!”
When the Rams were lost in the wilderness during that last decade in St. Louis, I believed it would lead to a return to Los Angeles—so I had hope.
Before Uncle Stan Kroenke bought the team, I don’t think Angels fans had hope.
And now I have to question whether San Diego Padres fans have hope. The Padres are like the bad guys who fight James Bond. They are never going to win, never going to take over the world, and never going to win a World Series.
Some fanbases force you to revel in their misery. And I’m reveling like the Emperor in Star Wars at the Padres collapse.
Note to Milwaukee: Do it for the Cunninghams, do it for LaVerne & Shirley, do it for Red…do it for me…and beat the Dodgers. I want to revel and slosh around in that meltdown for a while.
Last Late Note: The fan interference that cost the Yankees a home run against Tampa the other night was cosmic justice for what their fans did to Mookie Betts in the 2024 World Series.
…#124—May the San Francisco Giants rot and lie stinking in the earth…
To the Caitlin Clark Crowd: Did you honestly believe she had a shot at winning the MVP? The WNBA wasn’t going to let that happen–ever!
They gave it to A’ja Wilson again, dressed her up, sat her at a desk, and gave her a script to make her likable…and, again, it didn’t work.
And I don’t have a problem with her getting the award–she was really good.
The Dude abides…
1,371
John 8:58
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