Joe Torosian's Outsiders Sports

By Joe Torosian

Kick it!

A half game separates the Dodgers and Padres. The teams hate each other, it’s a big rivalry, and it’s not being broadcast nationally.

But if you want to see the game in person at PETCO Park tonight, you’ll need 86 bones for a seat in the Chula Vista section.

The Cavs clobbering the Pistons on Sunday night was the worst thing to happen to Detroit since Matt Millen.

It may be Millen’s fault, or Zola Budd’s, but heads should roll in the Motor City for that Game Seven performance. After Cade Cunningham, everyone else should expect a new address this fall.

Why have so many NBA playoff games been epic blowouts?

The Knicks have been off for so long that the last time I saw them play, Rory Sparrow was at point guard.

Shaking the rust off might take a quarter or two, but I’ll take New York in a Gentleman’s Sweep over Cleveland.

San Antonio went into Minnesota and showed they are so much more than just Wemby. The knee-knocking you hear is coming out of Oklahoma City because they may not get an opportunity to run it back.

Physical series, Spurs-Thunder beat each other up, and the Knicks roll over what’s left standing at the end. I’m going to go with that until it happens or I find something better.

And–as traces of spite become more evident–Wemby is growing on me.

I’m working hard here, I’m watching a lot of basketball, and some of it, fundamentally, is really bad basketball.

For the most part, I hold it together, different time, different era, different philosophy, a different approach. Okay.

All good, but when I got to hear about the great handles of the modern ball player when they carry-it-over more often than Angel Reese turns the ball over, I lose my mind.

Next Add Basketball: Only a league—the WNBA— that doesn’t have to worry about paying its own bills would take a Saturday off at the start of its season. The W didn’t play a single game on Saturday. Why?

I watched the Washington Mystics and Indiana Fever on Friday night, and at times it was ugly, but it was competitive — the teams cared.

It was a good watch, but I was wondering why I had never heard of Mystic guard Sonia Citron before. She’s really good, but she’s also white, straight, and claims a strong faith. The WNBA can’t have too much of that.

Last Add WNBA: Diana Taurasi played 565 WNBA games and only had nine with 20 points and 10 assists?

You’ve got to be kidding me? The woman I’ve been told is the greatest female player ever?

Caitlin Clark has 12 20-point/10-assist games in just 57 appearances.

And that’s another reason why Sonia Citron is being slow-rolled. Clark’s trouble enough.

Last Add Clark: In her first season, they tried to label her a turnover machine. The new narrative making the rounds is that she doesn’t play a lick of defense. Next year, they’ll accuse her of biting her nails.

It’s also apparent when Colin Cowherd talks about her that he doesn’t watch her games.

#47—May the San Francisco Giants rot and lie stinking in the earth…

It’s been two weeks since I asked for an opinion on Barstool Sports, and I got zero responses…Which tells me what I need to know about Barstool Sports.

Thank you.

The Dude abides…

1,293
Luke 6:46
jtbank1964@yahoo.com
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By Joe Torosian

Kick it!

I risk hypocrisy here because I’m going to watch these games, but does anyone find the NFL’s holiday schedule a bit invasive?

And a little bit scary in that the culture has finally found something we can’t say no to on a major holiday?

Big enough to pull us away from our families in a way that no NBA game or Andy Williams/Perry Como/Rankin & Bass Christmas special ever could.

And these games are so good, they’re almost impossible to record and watch later.

It’ll sound weird, but it rattles me a bit because, while I pride myself on the ability to say no and delay gratification, I know I won’t be able to say no to these games.

It’s football, I’m built to watch football, and I’m gonna watch football. When I was covering prep football for The Mid, I planned to watch local football on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday (sometimes twice on Saturday) to maximize my opportunities.

When the KBM, or anyone for that matter, declares an NFL game too boring to watch, I don’t understand it. I watch an NFL game, and I learn. And if I don’t learn about the game, I learn more about the players, and come across names that may have slipped through cracks in the memory.

What do I like about the Rams’ schedule? They go to Denver and Philly early, and Tampa Bay in January.

I’m glad they’re playing the Giants in Week Two, because the G-Men might be putting things together by Week 12.

I like the Week 11 bye because Seattle has theirs then, but it’s a little wonky in that the Rams come back and play on Wednesday.

What I don’t understand is playing the Seahawks twice in the season’s last three weeks, and possibly, counting the playoffs, three times in five weeks.

Injuries can collapse a season faster than a celebrity can complain about Trump at a podium…If the Rams-Hawks played early, the NFL would get all the attention and hype for a great game.

But what if both teams unravel—long shot—and are not competitive at the end of the season?

Then, again, maybe the Seahawks will be banged up in Week 18, and the Rams will be starting Stetson Bennett because they’ve already sewn up the number one seed.

The Mets have won three in a row (longest in the National League), and seven of their last ten–things are coming together.

#46—May the San Francisco Giants rot and lie stinking in the earth…

Overs-Unders on the Timberwolves knocking Wemby down three or more times tonight? I think Minnesota’s done.

To get into Rocket Arena tonight for Game Six between the Pistons and Cavaliers, you’ll need $180 for standing room. If you want to sit baseline, and you’ve got a pre-approved loan, it will cost you $1,645.

The Ducks died like dogs last night.

The Dude abides…

1,292
Psalm 71:14
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By Joe Torosian

Kick it!

Yasiel Puig is crushing the ball in Canada.

Magic Johnson has endorsed Karen Bass for re-election as mayor of Los Angeles?

…Dang! That changes everything…

Media: “Lamar Jackson is in the building, Lamar Jackson is working hard, Lamar Jackson is poised to win his third MVP.”

Yeah, that’s exactly what I want to hear if I root for the Bengals, Steelers & Browns.

The Dolphins extend Devon Achane, 4yrs/68-Rocks, which is good, but Achane is going to spend all his prime years playing for a team that hasn’t won a postseason game since December 30, 2000.
(See Stephen Jackson)

Miami is also on its ninth head coach (not counting 3 interims) since 2000.

The Rams getting the New York Giants on Monday night in Week 2 is a good thing.

We are constantly told, on every platform, that the NBA playoffs are completely different than the NBA regular season—and it’s true.

It’s like going from playing in your backyard to playing for keeps in a high-level, organized league. It’s not going to be like blowing by your brother in the driveway for a layup. In the NBA playoffs, if you can even make the move, it’s likely to end with a fly swat and bodily harm.

All true…But isn’t it also an acknowledgment that the NBA regular season is completely worthless? People are going to think I’m crazy, but a WNBA regular-season game is more meaningful and more competitive than any NBA game played from November to March.

The Packers and Rams are playing on Thanksgiving Eve on Netflix. Netflix, with possibly Mina Kimes in the booth, will only add to holiday depression.

Gus Williams, Dick Barnett, and Lenny Wilkens all died this past year, and each was treated as an “Oh, by the way” mention.

I’m not making an indictment of Jason Collins or his passing, but all the virtue points the KBM is scrambling to gather in declaring how dear, special, brave, courageous, and wonderful he was are a bit gross.

In my world, this is known as “The Stewart Maxim”: The effort by an individual or individuals to always; out-sincere you, out-feel you, out-pray you, out-emotion you, etc. etc.

As soon as it got to overtime last night, I knew the Pistons were more done than the reputations of Russini & Vrabel.

And the LeBron defense machine continues to move. The narrative now is that it is disrespectful to ask him to take a pay cut to stay with the Lakers.

I’d like to see LeBron stay at the right price, but why do the Lakers need to pay 50-Rocks to get swept in the second round of the playoffs again?

Surprisingly, ESPN’s Monica McNutt pushed back on giving LeBron big money. I think Dodger management will push back on giving LeBron big money, too.

#45—May the San Francisco Giants rot and lie stinking in the earth…

The Dude abides…

1,291
Ephesians 5:6-11
jtbank1964@yahoo.com
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By Joe Torosian

Kick it!

So, for the World Cup, SoFi gets grass, but Uncle Stan couldn’t put grass in for his own team? Why wouldn’t McSnead argue for that?

Is there anybody in the world of sports, ever, who has demonstrated douchery at a more galactic level than Lane Kiffin?

Every time you think he’s turned a corner, he reasserts himself as Lord Douchebage.

I’ve often heard the president of the SEC say, “Give me programs led by douchebags, and there’s nothing we cannot accomplish.”

Wemby was great last night, dude showed up, showed out, and the Timberwolves punked out. I guess they figured harsh language would be enough.

The Fighting Frenchman is great, I’m not taking anything away from him, but at least make him pay something for romping through the key.

The worst thing about Game Five between Cleveland and Detroit is that there will be a Game Six.

Frankly, I’m more interested in the Indiana Fever-LA Sparks tonight. Hopefully, it doesn’t end with Caitlin Clark on the trainer’s table.

In 1973, Jackie Smith, Riley Odoms, Ted Kwalick, Jerry Smith, Jim Mitchell, Charlie Sanders, Bob Trumpy, and Bob Tucker were the prototypical tight ends of the NFL. Rich Caster was lost in the shadow of Broadway Joe with the Jets, and people were excited about Billy Joe Dupree in Dallas, but the outlier, the prototype for the future, was Philadelphia’s Charle Young.

In an era when 40 receptions in a season was the standard, Young (who passed away yesterday) averaged close to 50 his first four seasons, made three Pro Bowls, and never missed a game while catching passes from an aging Roman Gabriel and Mike Boryla.

Then he went to the Rams (in a rights swap for Ron Jaworski)…And no player was as absolutely wasted as Young was, ever, in his prime.

“Los Angeles didn’t need my skills,” said Young in a 2017 interview with Yahoo. “Their main thing was to run, run, run. I specialize in both, but my forte is catching the ball.”

Two years after leaving the Rams, he plays a key role in the 49ers’ Super Bowl 16 victory.

Young fits perfectly into the Thomas Gray column of  “Full many a flower is born to blush unseen, and waste its sweetness on the desert air.”

Playing in another era, he ends up in Canton.

Shohei Ohtani went yard, finally, and the Dodgers still lost their fourth in a row…No, I’m not smiling…Much…

#44—May the San Francisco Giants rot and lie stinking in the earth…But they’re now fully etched into my cool book with a 6-2 victory at the Ravine last night.

What a crusher for the Anaheim Ducks. Losing in overtime in Vegas—I’m not even a fan, and I felt bad for them.

On Thursday, I’d like to go to the Arena Formerly Known As The Pond (Aka: Honda Center) and show support, but a 122-bones for a seat located in Brea feels a bit pricey when I can watch it on TNT from the RamCave.

The Dude abides…

1,290
1 Timothy 5:20-21
jtbank1964@yahoo.com
“RamView” M-W-F
Follow Joe on X: @joet13b